Archive for September, 2009

LOL! I mean, take it from me….well, I dont condone giving the President of the company the Monica Lewinsky treatment….but….

Just a “Hello”. A “Hi”. A “How was your day? Mines was great!” Try to add some names in the conversation. A wife’s name….children…..

“Hi bossman…..yeah, and how ’bout Mike finally said his first word?!”

Yeah, that sucked…..but check the statistics…

.hack//Juwols graduated in 2006, and since then, I’ve had over 13 jobs. Why such a high number?? No-Kiss-Ass-Skills!!! Duuuuh!!!

Usually, I just throw on the hoody and keep it moving. I dont have shit to say to you, you dont have shit to say to me. I’m just here to work and get a paycheck….

But, little did I kno my Super-Friends, That that little conversation, that little “Hi, That little “Whats-Up”, could of made a big difference….

Because nobody wants to fire somebody that Kisses-Ass…Laugh at your Corn-dog-ass-jokes…..Chats with you at the company picnic when everybody is scared to out of the fear of losing their job for saying that your jokes is really what Kisses-Ass….

Nah, you would rather fire Donald Trump.

And is the recession over? Is it isn’t, Kiss that Ass!!! If not…Then please, put the Lip-Gloss back in your man-purse…Check your left pocket and pull out your Dignity!!!

I really believe that a lot of life’s lessons can be learned from WWE wrestiling…(sorry, I just cracked up typing that dumb-ass statement….) So here’s a video of the proper way to kiss ass…

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Inspiration for this entry… “MySpace Chick” Juwols Luciano..(listen on myspace.com/juwolsmusic

 

Raise your hand if you’ve ever met that Chick off MySpace.

There you go. You found her, now you send her a freind request. And bam!! You log-on and see that you have New Freinds! You check and sure enough, She approved you. Yaaay. Now go grab a beer.

Fuck that. A shot of Sex on the Beach. In a bottle.

 

The next couple of weeks is spent commenting everything from profile, to pics, to blogs that you dont really understand nor give 3 flying-v-fucks about!! Then, you finally grow the fucking Testicles to send her a message…

 

And you say to yourself, “Damn, I wish this was Facebook. I could just Poke Her!”

 

And poke her you shall, MySpace-Man!!!

She messages you back. You go through all her pics before Messaging her back. Just to say Hi. So sad.

Finally, you get tha number you can text her at. You eventually get her on a date.

You get ready to leave for this date, But before you leave you decide to check tha pics again…She only has 5, but that’s okay. You right-click and “Save-as” all 5 of em to your computer….

So you text her to come outside. Cause you’re outside in the car. And….Thar she Blows!!!!

 

Gotsta be more careful Mighty-MySpace Man....

Gotsta be more careful Mighty-MySpace Man....

And now you stuck.

 

RULE NUMBER 4: NEVER ASK A GIRL OUT THAT YOU MET ON A WEBSITE WITHOUT THA MINIMUM OF 20 PICTURES. AND SHE ALSO HAS TO UPLOAD NEW ONES EVERY OTHER WEEK.

MINIMUM!! REMEMBER THAT OR FOREVER BE A BUTT-PIRATE!!!